11-23-09

Wow. I don't even know where to begin!!! This post is a way for me to share the events of the day with anyone who is interested, but more than that, it will be a great way to remember Lillian's crazy arrival for years to come. Hang on...I think this will be a lengthy post!

Last night after church I was absolutely worn out, ready for bed at 9pm. After taking my trusty Tylenol PM, I headed off to dreamland, sure that nothing interesting would happen on the baby-front until Tuesday night with the induction. I ended up having a very realistic dream that I'd had Lillian and was holding her...it was so sweet...but clearly just my mind playing tricks on me. At about 6:15am, I woke up and realized I'd had a contraction. Sure that it was just more false labor, I laid there for the next 3 which came about 10 minutes apart. I still didn't think much of it, so I didn't bother to say anything to my parents (I've been staying at their house for the past week because it's much closer to the hospital than our house) and let them head off to work for the day. Slowly but surely the contractions started to come closer together, and they were feeling stronger than any I'd had in the last few weeks. My sister called to see what I was up to and I confessed that I'd been having contractions but hadn't told anyone else yet. She was going to get a few things done around the house and then take a shower a little later and come hang out with me, but I realized things were getting a bit more serious...and told her she should shower now and head over to mom & dad's.

In the meantime, I called Ed at work to give him a head's up just in case this baby stuff was for real. I took the opportunity to have a nice hot shower, and by the time I was getting dressed, the contractions were coming exactly 2 minutes apart. I began to wonder what the heck I was thinking when I sent mom and dad to work leaving me home alone!!! A quick call to Katie assured me that she was on her way - yes, it was time to go to the hospital. We loaded my bags in the car and took off, called Ed to meet us at the hospital, and called Grandma Mary to do the same. I can't remember exactly what time we got there, but maybe it was around 9am? In any case, I got checked in (thankfully had already filled out my paperwork) and was sent to triage. When the nurse did an exam, I was still only 2cm. Seriously?? What the heck was going on? She spoke to my doctor who wanted me to walk around - he really wanted to see some cervical change before actually admitting me to labor & delivery. So at 9:55am, the nurse told me to walk around the halls and come back at 10:45. Well, Ed and I started walking, but the contractions were getting more and more intense and even closer together. I was in so much pain during each one that I had to hang onto the wall rails for dear life. At 10:20 I told him there was no way I could keep going; we needed to get back to that room.

When the triage nurse checked me again, she had this strange, almost terrified look on her face. I was 5cm! Keep in mind that the entire time, I let the whole world know that I fully intended to get an epidural. Suddenly, the activity in my room went nuts. One nurse started the admission process while the other started an IV and drew blood for labwork. Ahhh, the infamous "labs." Over and over again I asked if there would be time for the epidural. My nurse assured me that yes, there was time, she just needed to get the labs back, which should only take 20 minutes. Famous last words.

A lot of the next hour was a blur of pain - crazy painful contractions, trying to breathe, moaning to get through each one, a lot of praying for God to give me strength, and not to mention a few times asking about the epidural. Each time they assured me that it was coming, we're just "waiting for your labs to come back." At some point, I started feeling pressure - the nurse checked me and I was 7cm. In that very moment, I KNEW the epidural was no longer a possibility - and I was NOT happy!!! I didn't think there was any way possible that I could actually give birth to a child without that pain medicine. But God had a different plan for me.

After just a few more contractions, the pressure was so incredibly intense I knew it was time to push. The nurse checked me and yes, I was "complete." She made me lay on my side because she knew that this baby was coming and the doctor hadn't arrived yet. By the time everyone was in place (yes, including the doctor), I was just about out of my mind. According to Ed, there were a ton of people in the room, but I had no idea because my eyes were shut the whole time, just focusing on staying alive. I'm not sure how many times I pushed, but maybe it was only 3 or 4 contractions? I've always been skeptical of this phrase because I didn't understand it, but the whole thing truly felt like an out of body experience. How I didn't split into a million pieces (or at least pass out) is beyond me. The moment Lillian was born was so incredible - I can close my eyes and picture it over and over again.

I don't even want to ruin the memories by trying to put them into words - just an absolute miracle straight from the hand of God.

Miss Lillian Grace Boso was born at 11:31 am, only a little over 5 hours after I had my first contraction. She was 8lbs 11 oz and 20 inches long with a set of lungs that could knock you over. She looks incredibly similar to Edwin when he was born, yet has her own distinct look. My husband was amazing through the whole process - I don't know what I would have done without him (sorry about almost breaking your hand honey!)

There's so much more to say, but I can save that for another post. Thanks to everyone (again) for all the prayers and encouragement. I pray that all who read this blog will stand with me in awe of our amazing Creator. To God ALONE be the glory!!!!

Thankful

The last few days have been interesting to say the least. I'm sure most people know by now that at 9:30pm Thursday night I started having contractions - again. They were pretty consistent until about 12 hours later when they got further apart. No matter how much walking I did (and I walked A LOT), no matter what else I tried, they eventually got further apart and even more sporadic. At my doctor's appointment at 3:20pm, I still held onto a tiny bit of hope that he would send me over to the hospital to give me a jump-start of pitocin and I'd be meeting my little girl in a matter of hours. Instead, I found out that there had been absolutely no change since Monday. Seriously?? Eighteen hours of contractions resulted in no change??? How could this be? I fought back tears as the scheduler gave me my "walking papers" and instructions to show up at the hospital on Tuesday night to begin a 2-day induction. Once I got in the car though, I couldn't hold back any longer and I just started crying.

Yes, there are waaaay worse things that could have happened. My baby is still healthy, I am still healthy, but I was emotionally and physically worn out. I think I deserved a few moments of crying. Don't judge.

After a much needed night of sleep (thanks to the makers of generic Tylenol PM), today has been much more enjoyable. I never thought I'd make it to my due date with Lillian, especially with three separate occasions of false labor. But here I am. It's after 9pm on November 21st, and she is showing absolutely no signs of wanting to make her appearance.

Like I said, today was much more enjoyable. Mom and I took Edwin to the mall and met Auntie Katie, Uncle Brian, and Anthony. We had lunch, the boys rode the carousel, and we walked around a lot. I was able to take a nap when Edwin did, my husband got off work early (always a bonus!), and my mom & sis kidnapped me for a few hours to get PEDICURES!!!! Seriously, if you are in need of a pick-me-up, a pedicure is the way to go for sure! After a relaxing foot rub and some neon-pink toenail polish, we went over to the fire station to have Lillian's new car seat safely installed in the mini-van. Then it was off to San Felipe for dinner with the whole fam. See? It was a great day!

I'm so thankful for my family and friends. So thankful for the encouraging words, the prayers, the interest in how I'm doing. Just know that if I don't answer your text message, if I don't pick up the phone, it's nothing personal. I'm just not up for talking about this over and over and over again. If and when things finally pick up again (either naturally or from the induction), you can be sure that there will be plenty of facebook updates and blog posts from my sis or my sis-in-law. In fact, Katie will be updating her blog a lot more often than I do, so you might want to head over there for info.

This was the brightest pink polish I could find in the entire place (in honor of my little girl)

Miracle of the Moment

I'm officially three days away from my due date (Saturday the 21st). I find myself alternating between calm acceptance that I'm still pregnant and frantic wondering of when she'll be here. Last night before bed, I was absolutely certain I would be in labor before the morning. I mean, if someone had wanted to put money on it, I would have jumped all over that bet. However, I woke up at 6:30am still very pregnant, and again wondering when the heck Lillian is going to get here.

On the way to work, I think God was trying to gently remind me who is really in control here. I heard a song on K-Love called "Miracle of the Moment." It was exactly what I needed to put things in perspective. Two years ago today I was baptized and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. I professed in front of a huge room full of people that I was placing my trust in Jesus for EVERYTHING. Well, that includes pregnancy, doesn't it? So this morning, instead of being cranky and irritable, I'm choosing to be grateful for these last few days of pregnancy when I can have Lillian all to myself.

Here are the lyrics to that song (Miracle of the Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman)- and also a couple of pictures that Katie took of "The Belly" yesterday afternoon. Have a great day :)

It's time for letting go

All of our "if onlies"

Cause we don't have a time machine

And even if we did

Would we really want to use it

Would we really want to go change everything

Cause we are who and where and what we are for now

And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

There's only One who knows

What's really out there waiting

And all the moments yet to be

And all we need to know

Is He's out there waiting

To Him the future's history

And He has given us a treasure called right now

And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears

Then taste them as they fall

Let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter

Then throw your head back

And let it go

Let it go, yeah

You gotta let it go

And listen to your heartbeat

And breathe it in and breathe it out

And listen to your heartbeat

There's a wonder in the here and now

It's right there in front of you

And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

Waiting is SO HARD!

I thought I was doing really well.  After the whole bug-bite scare at 34 weeks, I had convinced myself that waiting until 40 weeks would be a piece of cake.  I was just fine all the up to 37 weeks… And now, I’m miserable. 

**Disclaimer:  I am grateful that Lillian and I are healthy and doing well.  I am grateful to be pregnant in the first place.  I KNOW that she will arrive in God’s time.  I get that.**

Yes, I’m miserable.  Last Thursday night/Friday morning between 2 and 4am, I had some pretty decent contractions.  Enough to wake me up and keep me up for two hours in the middle of the night.  But they never got stronger, and eventually stopped.

Last night beginning at 8:30pm, I starting having contractions again.  This time they were about 2 –3 minutes apart, strong enough to be uncomfortable, but not strong enough that I had to worry about them being so close together.  SIX HOURS LATER, they stopped.  I woke up this morning extremely tired, and yes, a bit cranky.  There’s just nothing quite like going to work on a Monday morning, hugely pregnant, hearing random people say “Oh, you’re still here?”  (It’s one thing if my friends say it, but it’s just downright annoying when it’s someone that doesn’t even know your name!) 

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning and found out that I’ve progressed to 1 1/2 cm dilated, and still 70% effaced.  What does that mean?  Well….nothing really.  I’ve heard stories of women walking around 3cm dilated and 100% effaced for two weeks without going into labor.  You just never know.

So there you have it.  I’m trying to enjoy these last few days (hours???) as a family of three and trying to pull my mood up out of the ditch.   Maybe this picture will help  :)