Monday, March 5, 2012

How Am I Feeling?

Music usually seems to explain it better...


Saturday, February 18, 2012

The Post I Never Wanted to Write

When I found out we were pregnant a couple weeks ago, I tried to think of the perfect way to share with the social media world our good news.  If you Google "funny ways to announce pregnancy on facebook," you get over 80,000 hits.  Unfortunately tonight, there's no funny way to announce the latest update.

After spending 3.5 hrs in the ER today, I was diagnosed as having a miscarriage.  Suddenly I am a member of a club I never wanted to be a part of. 

Let me make it clear that I have NO REGRETS about announcing our pregnancy the moment we found out.  We celebrated the gift of life and couldn't wait to share it with friends and family.  I wanted the whole world to know that I was already in love with Baby Boso #3 and considered this child a blessing.  I do not have all the answers, I don't understand why this had to happen.  But it would have been more tragic to lose this child in silence. 

My One Word this year is FAITH (http://myoneword.org/).  It is my faith that has gotten me through these roller-coaster last two weeks. It is my faith that will see me through this next phase of grieving.  And it is my faith that will be with me as we continue to try to grow our family in the future.  God's word is true and I am clinging to His promises.  In the past few days, I have asked God to give me an increase in faith. I guess He answered my prayers because He has given me an opportunity to exercise that faith - to step beyond doubt - to press forward and continue to trust Him. 

If you're anything like me, your initial reaction might be to ask what you can do to help.  I'm not sure what the answer is, but please be patient with me as I walk through this new territory.  I ask for your prayers, for both myself and my wonderful husband.  He has been amazing through all of this, and I know he's just as confused as I am as to what the next steps are.  Don't forget that this is his loss as well.  And to those of you who may wonder what the big deal is (after all, we only knew we were pregnant for 2.5 weeks), please take time to check out this webpage - (especially the part about what not to say! I'm guilty of making some of the same statements, so there's no judgement here).

So there you have it.  It may not be as fun or glamorous as posting about being pregnant, but I just don't understand why people don't talk about miscarriage.  If it's really as common as all the statistics I found online say it is, why suffer in silence? I certainly have received a giant boost of compassion for all of my fellow mommies who have lost a baby so early.  And I'm beyond thankful for the family and friends who have already been so loving and supportive.

Philippians 4:4-7
 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

I'm Baaaack!

I blame it all on Facebook. I can't believe I haven't posted on this blog since Lillian learned how to crawl!!! Now she's two years old, running all over the place, talking in full sentences, trying to use the potty, and pushing her limits every chance she gets.

I used to love writing a blog post and adding a few pictures every now and then. Actually, I really enjoyed going back and reading some of those posts and re-living the memories. Now it's so easy to post a quick status update on Facebook and move on. But it's just not the same.

So in honor of the fact that we are expecting Baby Boso #3 in October, I've decided to start blogging again. That's right. More blog, less Facebook.

Where to begin...

Edwin will be 5 years old next month. Yes, FIVE. YEARS. OLD. Crazy! He loves music (turns everything into either drums or a guitar), loves to play outside, and is a fantastic big brother. He's so sweet with Lillian and calls himself her protector. Edwin is very energetic and loves school. Speaking of school, he'll be starting Kindergarten in the fall! We've put him in the lottery for Roger Bacon Academy, but that decision is in God's hands. Next Friday we'll find out if he gets in.

Lillian turned 2 in November. She wants to do everything her big brother does, which of course drives him a little bit crazy. She loves to play dress-up, but still likes to wrestle with Daddy and Edwin. You'll rarely see Lillian without her favorite blue blankie and she loves her baby dolls.

Baby Boso #3 is due October 9th. I can't believe God has blessed us with another baby!!! Right now I'm not feeling sick, just a bit more tired than usual. Since I'm only about 4.5 weeks pregnant, I don't expect the major symptoms to hit for another week or so. At least, that's how it went when I was preggo with Edwin and Lillian.

That's it for tonight. If I write anymore it'll turn into a Christmas card letter, and we just can't have that ;) And since I don't like posts without pictures, here's one of our big family taken around Thanksgiving.