Saturday, February 18, 2012

The Post I Never Wanted to Write

When I found out we were pregnant a couple weeks ago, I tried to think of the perfect way to share with the social media world our good news.  If you Google "funny ways to announce pregnancy on facebook," you get over 80,000 hits.  Unfortunately tonight, there's no funny way to announce the latest update.

After spending 3.5 hrs in the ER today, I was diagnosed as having a miscarriage.  Suddenly I am a member of a club I never wanted to be a part of. 

Let me make it clear that I have NO REGRETS about announcing our pregnancy the moment we found out.  We celebrated the gift of life and couldn't wait to share it with friends and family.  I wanted the whole world to know that I was already in love with Baby Boso #3 and considered this child a blessing.  I do not have all the answers, I don't understand why this had to happen.  But it would have been more tragic to lose this child in silence. 

My One Word this year is FAITH (http://myoneword.org/).  It is my faith that has gotten me through these roller-coaster last two weeks. It is my faith that will see me through this next phase of grieving.  And it is my faith that will be with me as we continue to try to grow our family in the future.  God's word is true and I am clinging to His promises.  In the past few days, I have asked God to give me an increase in faith. I guess He answered my prayers because He has given me an opportunity to exercise that faith - to step beyond doubt - to press forward and continue to trust Him. 

If you're anything like me, your initial reaction might be to ask what you can do to help.  I'm not sure what the answer is, but please be patient with me as I walk through this new territory.  I ask for your prayers, for both myself and my wonderful husband.  He has been amazing through all of this, and I know he's just as confused as I am as to what the next steps are.  Don't forget that this is his loss as well.  And to those of you who may wonder what the big deal is (after all, we only knew we were pregnant for 2.5 weeks), please take time to check out this webpage - (especially the part about what not to say! I'm guilty of making some of the same statements, so there's no judgement here).

So there you have it.  It may not be as fun or glamorous as posting about being pregnant, but I just don't understand why people don't talk about miscarriage.  If it's really as common as all the statistics I found online say it is, why suffer in silence? I certainly have received a giant boost of compassion for all of my fellow mommies who have lost a baby so early.  And I'm beyond thankful for the family and friends who have already been so loving and supportive.

Philippians 4:4-7
 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

3 comments:

Jenny | The Balow Bunch said...

Love you guys! It's not a fun club to be part of, but i've found a lot of comfort and connection to others who have gone through it too. Lots of prayers for you and your family.

Pat Heydon said...

Diana and Ed
Sorry to hear your announcement. I pray the Lord continues to hold you in the palm of his hand and guide you through this. You are in our prayers.

Aunt Pat and Uncle Jim

Elaine L said...

rDianna...so sorry to hear your news. Been there myself. It is SO important to grieve that child together and talk about it. Years ago, we were told to let go and "forget it" because it wasn't meant to be. We bore the scars of that advice for 35+ yrs. I know the Lord will be a balm for you. God bless you and all your family.